Just For Fun

It’s a New Year. Time to get fit. For motivation I bought a sassy new swimsuit, three sizes too small. Sadly, it was still a Plus size so I dug out the kid’s Wii Fit and balance board, determined to get in shape.

“It’s been 233 days since your last weigh in,” the Wii chastised my mini Mii—a digital representation of myself complete with helmet hair and white yoga pants, which I would never wear in real life (before or after Labor Day.)

“Step on,” the cheery voice said, followed by a sardonic grunt. “Uuuuuuu-fff!”

The passive aggressive machine recovered shortly, finally offering up a number more suited to a house address than a weight scale. With no warning, my Mii’s waist line sprang out—making contact with both sides of the big screen television. Both Mii and I hung our heads in shame.

“You are OBESE!” The Wii announced to the greater tri-state area.

For the agility and balance tests, I maintained my balance on one foot and  dutifully swirled my hips in concentric circles—only minorly injuring the cat. With all the flair of a game show, it announced my “Wii Age” (which rivaled my planned calorie count for the day.)

Feeling sporty, I chose soccer as my first event. Standing on the balance board, I was supposed to shift my weight in order to head butt the soccer balls being kicked at me.

I missed two balls then a shoe caught me in the face. My digital second and third chins wobbled in slow motion as my head snapped back up—just in time to get clocked by a panda head.

Seriously?! When did Nintendo decide decapitating an endangered species and dropkicking their heads at you was a family friendly game? I quit on ethical grounds.

Even though I had no real world experience, I chose tightrope walking. While maintaining perfect balance, I attempted to walk across the rope between two tall buildings. Minor threats such as a flock of birds attempted to distract me.

I carefully took my first step and the rope snapped. The building only shook slightly upon my landing.

Next, I tried the ski jump but caused an avalanche; I tested my balance on the iceberg tilt but instead got propositioned by a nearby whale; and I attempted the hula hoop but ended up with four hoops firmly wedged around my Mii’s waist.

Exhausted, I pulled out Wii Fit and switched to Wii Resort which features biking, jet skiing and skydiving. After searching high and low for the buffet with no luck, I finally found the purpose for my white pants: I signaled my surrender.

Along with the Strawberry Daiquiri’s cute umbrellas, I especially like the Rum and Coke accessory–a mini lime and cherry on a pick.

Rum and Coke Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 4 oz. unsweetened chocolate, in squares
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup Coco-cola
• 1/2 cup light or dark rum
• 2 cups cake flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. rum extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add paper liners to large and/or small cupcake tins.

In a large saucepan, melt chocolate, butter, and rum in a bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add Coca-cola. Add mixture to a large bowl and add flour, sugar and a pinch of salt. Mix well.

Stir in buttermilk, baking soda eggs and extract and beat till smooth.

Pour into prepared tins.

Bake for 25-30 minutes for large cupcakes and 15-20 minutes for mini cupcakes. Let cool then poke holes in the top with a skewer. Brush a 1/4 cup of rum over the tops before frosting with Rum Frosting.

Rum Frosting

1 cup butter, softened

1 tsp. rum extract

3 c. confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup light or dark rum

3-4 Tb. of cream (for consistency)

Beat all ingredients together, adding cream to create the proper spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes with a star tip. Cut a lime into small wedges and cut a Marschino cherry in half. Thread a piece of lime and cherry on a colored plastic skewer and add to cupcake.

The coffee bean and moist chocolate cupcake make these concoctions delicious.

Kahula and Cream Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 4 oz. unsweetened chocolate, in squares
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup Kahula
• 1/2 cup milk or cream
• 2 cups cake flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. rum extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add paper liners to large and/or small cupcake tins.

In a large saucepan, melt chocolate, butter, and Kahula in a bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add milk/cream. Add mixture to a large bowl and add flour, sugar and a pinch of salt. Mix well.

Stir in buttermilk, baking soda eggs and extract and beat till smooth.

Pour into prepared tins.

Bake for 25-30 minutes for large cupcakes and 15-20 minutes for mini cupcakes. Let cool then poke holes in the top with a skewer. Brush a 1/4 cup of Kahula and vodka mixture over the tops before frosting with Kahula Frosting.

Kahula Frosting

1 cup butter, softened

1 tsp. rum extract

3 c. confectioners’ sugar

1/4 cup Kahula

3-4 Tb. of cream (for consistency)

Beat all ingredients together, adding cream to create the proper spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes and add a single chocolate covered espresso or coffee bean. Sprinkle with cocoa powder.

The vodka-soaked gummy bears are a little messier and need to be set aside for the adult-only cupcakes. But they do add a special touch. You can also use plain ol’ virgin gummy bears.

Jell-O Shot Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1-1/2 cups cake flour
• 1 3/4 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup warm Jell-O (any flavor) and vodka, mixed
• 1/4 cup colored sprinkles

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add paper liners to large and/or small cupcake tins.

In a middle bowl, cream sugar and butter. Add eggs and extract and mix thoroughly. Add the dry ingredients, alternating with the milk and vodka mixture. Stir in colored sprinkles.

Pour into prepared tins.

Bake for 25-30 minutes for large cupcakes and 15-20 minutes for mini cupcakes. Let cool then poke wide holes in the top with a skewer. Pour a full 1 cup of Jell-O and vodka mixture in the holes. Once the juice has settled, frost with Cream Cheese  Frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

1 cup butter, softened

1 8 oz. bar of cream cheese, softened

1 tsp. vanilla extract

3 c. confectioners’ sugar

3-4 Tb. of cream (for consistency)

Beat all ingredients together, adding cream to create the proper spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes and add a single vodka-soaked or plain gummy bear. Sprinkle with multi-colored sugars.

This sweet cupcake ended up being my favorite from the Boozy Cupcake collection. It was perfectly tart and sweet with a crunch of granulated sugar on top.

Fuzzy Navel Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 1 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. lemon or orange extract
• 1 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1-1/2 cups cake flour
• 1 3/4 tsp. baking powder
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 orange juice and Peach Schanpps, mixed

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Add paper liners to large and/or small cupcake tins.

In a middle bowl, cream sugar and butter. Add eggs and vanilla and mix thoroughly. Add the dry ingredients, alternating with the milk and Schnapps mixture.

Pour into prepared tins.

Bake for 25-30 minutes for large cupcakes and 15-20 minutes for mini cupcakes. Let cool. Poke holes in the top of the cooled cupcakes with skewer and brush on Peach Schnapps. A 1/4 cup of Schnapps will “drench” the whole batch. Then frost with Fuzzy Navel Frosting.

Fuzzy Navel Frosting

1 cup butter, softened

1 tsp. lemon or orange extract

3 c. confectioners’ sugar

1/4 c. orange juice and Peach Schnapps mixture

1-2 Tb. of cream (for consistency)

Beat all ingredients together, adding cream to create the proper spreading consistency. Frost cooled cupcakes using a wide tip.

Add decorative pick and granulated colored sugars.