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P is for Practice Teenager


Published on: Apr 19, 20115 comments

I have two children–a 9 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. I also have a practice teenager–Shaina. I highly recommend getting one for yourself because they add spice to your life and they are cheaper than real teenagers.

All the drama, none of the tuition bills

We first met Shaina through her mom–my daughter’s kindergarten teacher and later, my son’s first grade teacher. Shaina was this cute blonde 14 year old who called us Mr. and Mrs. Amsler and politely cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. She obviously adored my children who returned the favor. It was the ideal babysitting situation.

Then like kudzu, Shaina ended up weaving into our family on a molecular level. She eagerly offered to help paint the library when we remodeled. She came over for Buffy marathons and we deconstructed the show afterward. My husband tutored her on her SATs which she passed with flying colors. We started celebrating her birthday with a party.

Shaina has a close and loving family already, so we are not replacements for something that is lacking. We are more like the cool aunt and uncle. Or as I firmly believe, we are the family you choose–instead of the one you are born into.

Having a practice teenager has given me a glimpse into what the real experience will be like.

  • I’ve gotten the dreaded call that announced she was sitting in the emergency room after a car accident
  • She has brought us souveniers from her trips to France and in return, I cook her French food
  • I’ve argued by text, losing when she is in a particular volatile mood
  • I’ve loaned her clothes and shoes, which she looked better in anyway
  • We’ve experienced cultural events together like the Transiberian Orchestra concert, Wicked the musical and all the Twilight movies
  • We’ve made college campus visits when she was shopping for schools and college weekend visits now that she is at Purdue (Mark’s alma mater)
  • I’ve tried to teach her to sew, to make baklava and to go to bed at a reasonable time
  • We’ve loaned each other books and discussed them afterward
  • I encouraged her to write a vampire novel during NaNoWriMo–even though she is studying to be a doctor (liberal arts at its best!)

Technically, I am old enough to be her mother (but I shudder at the memory of the boys I dated in my late teens.) She has been my training wheels for my own children’s teenage years. And I have been the honorary family member who sends cookies to her dorm room.

Who are your chosen family members?


5 thoughts on “P is for Practice Teenager

  1. I was just going to ask you where you can get the practical ones. I have my own who seems to be going through the phase of ‘I’m 15 going on 50! full of wisdom and doing it my own way’ I hear some talk of the light in the end of the tunnel…

    Great to visit from the A-Z challenge

    Amanda

  2. Our favorite chosens are our Uncles Paul and Uncle Dora (yes, that’s UNCLE Dora- whose real name is also Paul.) Dora is my best friend from college, Paul. And his partner Paul has also become a best friend. Dora is my brother from another mother and they are THE BEST Uncles to my son, who has adored them since birth. We vacation together, holiday together, skype with them, etc. Love them.

  3. I had an honorary mom when I was a teenager. It didn’t take anything away from my relationship with my mother, but probably made it better, I think.

    Shaina sounds like a wonderful part of your family!

  4. My husband and I used to play tabletop RPGs (yes, like Dungeons & Dragons) at a comic book shop and became second parents to two of the boys in the group. Since we don’t have kids, it’s been great seeing Chris and AJ grow up. We met them when they were 12 or 13 and have been through girl friend woes, stupid-driving-tricks, graduations, and had many talks about future plans. It’s good to have chosen family.

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